5 Signs of an Unhealthy Relationship
What Does an Unhealthy Relationship Look Like?
An unhealthy relationship is characterized by emotionally (and sometimes physically) damaging behaviors, such as selfishness or a desire for control. But, what does that look like in real life? It can be hard to recognize the warning signs from the inside. Sometimes, we have to ask ourselves difficult questions and take a critical look at our relationship.
But, you don’t have to do it alone - HPRC is here to help! Today, we’re sharing 5 signs of an unhealthy relationship, so you can gain the clarity needed to evaluate your own relationship.
Let’s get started! In an unhealthy relationship, you may feel like:
You can’t rely on your partner for support
If you feel like you can’t depend on your partner for emotional support, your relationship may be unhealthy. For example:
Would you be excited to tell your partner if you got a raise at work?
When you’re having a rough day, do you vent to your partner or keep it to yourself?
Do you ask your partner for advice when making decisions?
You may not feel comfortable confiding in your partner - perhaps you’re afraid they would belittle your success or make fun of your insecurities. You may even feel like they would be unreliable in situations where you really need them, such as parenting or the loss of a loved one.
Your partner should be a major player in your support system. It’s important to be with someone you can lean on in good times and bad!
2. Your partner is dismissive of your interests
In a healthy relationship, both partners encourage each other’s interests, even if they don’t share the same passions. For example, if you love to crochet, your partner may praise your skill and encourage you to open an Etsy shop.
In an unhealthy relationship, the things you enjoy are only important if your partner thinks so - it doesn’t matter if they make you happy. They may even ridicule your interests, causing you to feel embarrassed about the things you love. This could lead to a drop in self-esteem, and you may change your behavior and interests to please your partner.
You deserve a partner who celebrates the things that make you unique. Never settle for someone who makes you feel ashamed to be you!
3. Your relationship is co-dependent
Co-dependency involves an extreme imbalance of power. One person devotes most of their time and energy to the relationship, while the other person takes advantage in order to meet their own needs and desires (whether they realize it or not).
You may feel like a caretaker, rather than a partner. It stems from a desire to help or fix the other person, but it quickly becomes a one-sided relationship. For example:
If they’re irresponsible with money, you cover their bills.
If they make selfish decisions, you make excuses for them, rather than explain how their actions hurt others.
You feel guilty spending time apart from them.
Healthy relationships require a certain level of interdependence. Couples should be able to rely on each other for love and support, but be responsible for their own actions. Ultimately, you can’t fix a person. It’s up to the individual to make lasting changes themselves.
4. Your partner deflects blame
Emotionally mature people are able to own up to their mistakes and speak to their partners with respect. In an unhealthy relationship, your partner casts blame onto anything but themselves. Deflecting blame can look like:
Saying something hurtful, and later blaming it on being intoxicated
Saying “it was just a joke” or “you’re too sensitive” when they upset you
Saying “you made me do this” when they mistreat you
When your partner deflects blame, they’re not only avoiding accountability, they’re punishing you for something that isn’t your fault. It’s unfair to you, and unhealthy for your relationship. If they can’t take responsibility for their actions, especially when they hurt you, it may be best to walk away.
5. Your partner is extremely jealous
The first time your partner expresses jealousy, you might find it charming. You may think, “Wow, they must really love me!”. However, the trouble comes when it escalates into limiting (or even forbidding) time with loved ones. Your partner may:
Expect you to spend most or all of your time with them
Check on you constantly to see who you’ve been interacting with
Invent reasons to avoid your friends and family
Limit who you can talk to, such as exes or people you used to have a crush on
These behaviors eventually lead to isolation. Everyone you care about becomes off-limits, which paves the way for depression and puts you at risk of abuse.
Any form of abuse is serious and unacceptable. If your partner has threatened to hurt you, or already has, please contact the National Domestic Abuse Hotline to get help. Your safety, health, and happiness are #1!
Get the Support You Deserve at HPRC
Say it with us: I am worthy of love and respect! If any of these behaviors feel all too familiar to you, please reach out to a loved one. Don’t know who to turn to? Consider visiting HPRC! Our compassionate team of client advocates is here to deliver the support you deserve!
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